Tramatic Turkey Story

So here is the Turkey story............

I have never cooked a turkey before I don't know why I just never had. Until recently when I was brutally forced into the task. I went shopping at Save mart a local grocery store and I purchased a lot of groceries and they gave me a free turkey. I was like COOL and then I thought about it "wait, I don't know how" so I used my phone a friend I called Papa and he confused me so I pulled the audience (Tommy) and I went and got a turkey bag. Ding Ding this was going to be easy there are few instructions, and I was good to go. So the day came and Tommy was like if you don't cook the turkey soon it will go bad and me being my moms daughter I couldn't bear letting a perfectly good turkey go to waste so here we go. I cut the bag the turkey was in and immediately blood gushed out (blah....heave....hurl) yes, those were my exact thoughts and sounds. Then I touched it and it was all over, at the time I was on the phone with my mom and she was guiding me through it, at this moment I lost it I was balling saying "mom I can't do this" "I am not equip for this activity" " this is horrible" It was by far the grossest thing I have ever done. I had to pull out this thing inside the crotch and a bag of gross stuff from the neck (which I opted not to do) all this time trying my hardest not to throw up. Maybe it was because I am pregnant or maybe I just am not that great of a homemaker. All in all It turned out great and I actually was proud of myself for doing it my mom told me to stop and wait till Tommy got home but I toughed it out like a trooper, it help when your sister calls while your doing it and distracts you with Colorado gossip. that is my story and yes, I probably will do it again just not while I am pregnant.